No one asks a thief to steal anything physical anymore. Over half of all crime these days is done on the Internet. For millenials, the transition to cyberspace has been easy. Including the fact that the bonus of anonymity due to levels of separation between the person committing the crime, and the crime, and the decision to stop typical robberies was one of the easiest Joe Clyde ever made.
But every thief has an ego, and he’s no different. When the message came through for an old school job, he thought of ignoring it until he saw the proposed price. Not necessarily life-changing money, but enough to get him on that track, and at 24-years-old, his life of crime has gotten stagnant to some extent. His father taught him to never pass up good money. This would be no different.
Regardless, he would still be putting his skin, literally, on the line with this job, so he asked for an increase in the price. When they agreed without any rebuttal, a passing thought of concern crossed his mind, but it quickly vanished. This is good money, and he can’t ignore that.
While he approaches the house, the doubt creeps its way back into his mind, but at this point he’s committed.
Time to focus on the here and now.
There’s this thing about rich people in rural parts of that country that make them feel untouchable. Car keys are always in the ignitions, and doors are always unlocked. It’s all about distance.
Distance from the road. Distance from your neighbors. Distance from civilization.
It creates a sense of invincibility.
Who would make the trip out to where they are? When nothing has happened to your home after living there for 20+ years, it’s easy to think nothing ever will.
The Rollins family have quite a few parties every year. The music is loud, and the drinks are poured to the brim. After a few hours, an elephant could walk in and take the place. Despite that, Joe still does his best to scope the place out without drawing attention to himself. Floor plans can be found online and studied, but houses are still furnished in ways that make them easy to get lost in.
When he first got here, the gates to the house were open. Of course they were. Why ask your family to stop, park the car, hit the keypad, hop back in your car, wait for them to open, then drive through. Especially for a reunion of a family this size. He must have walked past anywhere between 40 and 50 cars on the way in.
And everyone is so nice.
“Hey!”
“Great to see ya!”
“How’s it been? Feels like I haven’t seen you since you were a kid!”
These people haven’t seen each other in so many years, they don’t even know what each other look like. He smiles and waves and tries to match their enthusiasm with his eyes. The number one trick to blending in is not being memorable. But at the same time, it feels like people are shouting greetings more at him than at others.
Must be his paranoia.
As he walks in, he grabs a drink and starts making his way from one room to the next, never lingering long, and avoiding the rooms with less than five people. The last thing he wants to do is start a conversation that he can’t talk his way out of. Walking with a sense of purpose always helps with that. His eyes are forward, always scanning as if he is looking for that one person that he wants to talk to. Eyes focused on a non-existent point somewhere past everyone else as he passes them. It’s then, he turns a corner and almost knocks over an old lady carrying a small plate of appetizers to the dining room he just left.
“Ope, sorry,” Joe says in a slightly louder-than-normal whisper. He manages to save his drink, and her bacon-wrapped water chestnuts stay put thanks to the sticky sauce that seems to have them transfixed to the plate. A man walking behind her chuckles at the narrowly avoided disaster and whispers something under his breath.
Joe shoots him a look, but he’s already turned a corner down another hallway.
This might draw some attention, so Joe opens his mouth to speak, but the woman speaks first.
“Oh, it’s OK, dear. Luckily, you’re young enough to avoid an old woman like me shuffling through the hallway,” she says with a smile. Her eyes darted to the man now walking past me to the dining room.
“Mhm, sorry to disturb you!” he replies while starting his way past her to the next room. He politely places his hand on her shoulder as he attempts to move past.
“Would you mind being a dear and pull out that chair for me?” she asks, gesturing towards a beautifully ornate chair in the room.
Shit.
He can’t be caught lingering. The next thing she’ll ask is for him to sit with her, and ask who’s kid he is, and how work is going, and so on. He has to think of an excuse quickly.
“I’m really sorry but I’ve been searching for a bathroom for ten minutes and I keep getting lost in these halls,” he adds a nervous chuckle, “ I’ll swing back around and we can chat then. Is that OK?” Joe says with a rushed look on his face.
Hopefully, that’s enough of an excuse for her as he gives her a friendly smile. He turns to make his way down the hall when all of a sudden she grabs his wrist and places a dollar in his hand.
“Now darling, I need you to come back and give me some more of that candy,” she says under her breath. She finishes it off with a wink and a smile. “And don’t tell your mother!”
Um. What…? Joe thinks to himself. This lady must be senile. I should just walk away.
Joe starts to grab her hand to remove it from his when he sees the look on her face and wonders what type of monster must be over his shoulder making its way towards them.
Her jaw drops. Her eyes are wide.
They begin to dart back and forth between a spot over Joe’s shoulder, and his face. He can feel the color drain and panic start to set in. Right at that moment, Joe hears a voice come from behind him.
“Oh, hi Grandma! I’m back with that candy you asked for, but you can’t tell Mom I got it for you!”
Writing by Adam 